While Crystal has celiac disease, I am fortunate enough to be able to eat anything. Here are five ways I support her gluten-free diet. (This list works for boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, and significant others as well!)
- Be supportive, not resentful. Whenever you are unable to eat something for a meal because your spouse is allergic, just remember: at least you can have it some other time. Your spouse will never be able to eat it again. If you feel like complaining, quit whining and grow up.
- Choose restaurants that you know FOR SURE your spouse will be able to get a gluten-free meal. There are plenty of restaurants in our area that have smart chefs who really understand celiac disease. I have learned that it is so much easier for a person with celiac disease to go to a proven restaurant than it is to take a risk.
- Be wary of party food. Before you and your spouse attend a dinner party or gathering, come up with a positive solution for them to eat. We are invited to many cocktail parties with muchie-type food, and it is almost never gluten-free. We’ll usually bring snacks in a purse or just eat somewhere else beforehand. If appropriate, we’ll always bring something that is gluten free (like dessert) and make sure the host knows to keep it away from the breadcrumbs.
- Educate your family. One of the obstacles we initially had was educating our families as to what gluten free really means. We were each very specific with our families, and we have been without incident now for quite awhile. A trip to the in-laws can be stressful enough … make sure your spouse isn’t worried about what to eat as well! (Actually, we don’t have stressful in-law situations, but I’m sure you understand my meaning!)
- Let your spouse know they are not alone. It is important that you are just as concerned about your spouse’s diet as they are. Show your spouse that you will do whatever it takes for them to feel normal. I did most of the cooking before Crystal was diagnosed with celiac disease, and I still do most of the cooking now (I just cook gluten free). I help find her local restaurants that can accommodate her diet, and I also advocate on her behalf to those who aren’t familiar with celiac disease.
While celiac disease has definitely changed how we eat, it hasn’t changed our relationship at all. I would much rather have a healthy wife with a dietary restriction than a sick wife who tries to eat everything!
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My son is Celiac and I hope that someday (no hurry as he is only 19) he finds a spouse this wonderful! Thank you for being so thoughtful of your wife.
Thank you, Judy. That means a lot to me!